I had to start a blog to keep these feelings from exploding out in circumstances that might damage our friendship. I am already mustering up every ounce of courage I have to assist with your baby shower. I have avoided 37 baby showers in recent memory, so this is a big deal.
Please don’t come to my home and tell me the same story about the four pregnant family members. Again. Even when I make polite hints that I am up-to-date on the situation.
And really, for the love of anything holy, please do not proceed to tell me how one of the couples “thought they might be ready to try” and so “decided to go off birth control” and then panicked when one month later they found themselves pregnant.
I have been trying to find myself pregnant for the past four years. I want to fall through the floor approximately 10% of the time that I am with you. Going to your home and finding your baby’s things all set up and ready in your front room was a lot. I thought I would have two more months to come to terms with this.